I saw Napoleon Dynamite earlier last week and I'm still laughing about it. There's nothing deep or profound about it but there's something about it that is making me quote it every other sentence. Rick hasn't seen it but has started quoting it just because he hears it from me all the time. I figured I need to blog it to exorcise it from me - or to find like minded people I could have senseless Napoleon Dynamite conversations with.
Ok...so this post is my official entry seal to geekdom.
July 25, 2005
July 20, 2005
when church becomes the object of worship rather than a place of worship
*note: I am talking about one church throughout, not a general idea of the worldwide Church.
It's been a sad and painful five years to watch a church, one that has been an instrumental part of my life, self-destruct. Perhaps I'm being a pessimist or even worse a pessimist with an ungodly level of doubt, unbelief and low levels of faith. Of course some people might think differently about what's been going on there but like anything else you'll find on this blog, this is my limited perspective.
I am not airing my gripes for the sake of vindication or personal vendetta. I am just tired. Tired of listening to friends tell me of their painful and even destructive experiences there. Tired of seeing church members treated as bank books, goffers or ministry projects'. Tired of seeing pastors crumble under the congregation's expectations to be demi-gods (and of course tired of seeing some of them think they're demi-gods).
I've heard many people say they love 'the church', and I've said that often as well. But what are we really talking about? I have such difficulty at times believing this, especially when I do not see that the PEOPLE are valued - what is loved and valued is the idea, the image, the history...but what about the people? Surely, that's what the church is.
I've had conversations with the pastors and others involved in leadership in 'the church' and am deeply disturbed at a number of things: the manner issues are addressed,the way conflicts are handled, the extent people will go to 'save their own skins', and the disposability of members in the community. And that's just to name a few. But my real issue with 'the church' is this worship of itself. Love 'the church' but in that effort to love this ambiguous entity, destroy the people that make this entity. 'The church' or at least what is held up as 'the church' is separate from the people who are a part of it. Who are we serving? Who are we worshipping? or maybe the question is what are we worshipping?
I know this is not sunshine but I do still have hope. Christ gives me reason to hope. He loves each one in the 'the church'. And I could only hope that even as I watch this church self destruct it is in this moment that Life and Love will rear its head. Resurrection life only comes after death and I hope this applies to a body that has attacked itself.
It's been a sad and painful five years to watch a church, one that has been an instrumental part of my life, self-destruct. Perhaps I'm being a pessimist or even worse a pessimist with an ungodly level of doubt, unbelief and low levels of faith. Of course some people might think differently about what's been going on there but like anything else you'll find on this blog, this is my limited perspective.
I am not airing my gripes for the sake of vindication or personal vendetta. I am just tired. Tired of listening to friends tell me of their painful and even destructive experiences there. Tired of seeing church members treated as bank books, goffers or ministry projects'. Tired of seeing pastors crumble under the congregation's expectations to be demi-gods (and of course tired of seeing some of them think they're demi-gods).
I've heard many people say they love 'the church', and I've said that often as well. But what are we really talking about? I have such difficulty at times believing this, especially when I do not see that the PEOPLE are valued - what is loved and valued is the idea, the image, the history...but what about the people? Surely, that's what the church is.
I've had conversations with the pastors and others involved in leadership in 'the church' and am deeply disturbed at a number of things: the manner issues are addressed,the way conflicts are handled, the extent people will go to 'save their own skins', and the disposability of members in the community. And that's just to name a few. But my real issue with 'the church' is this worship of itself. Love 'the church' but in that effort to love this ambiguous entity, destroy the people that make this entity. 'The church' or at least what is held up as 'the church' is separate from the people who are a part of it. Who are we serving? Who are we worshipping? or maybe the question is what are we worshipping?
I know this is not sunshine but I do still have hope. Christ gives me reason to hope. He loves each one in the 'the church'. And I could only hope that even as I watch this church self destruct it is in this moment that Life and Love will rear its head. Resurrection life only comes after death and I hope this applies to a body that has attacked itself.
July 14, 2005
domestic bliss
Interesting fact from the Globe and Mail.
"In Spain, where half the men say they do no housework, a new law requires men to share domestic tasks," reports The Christian Science Monitor. "Beginning this summer, men must sign an agreement as part of a marriage contract in civil ceremonies. If a husband refuses to do his share, he could face penalties in a divorce settlement if the marriage fails."
"In Spain, where half the men say they do no housework, a new law requires men to share domestic tasks," reports The Christian Science Monitor. "Beginning this summer, men must sign an agreement as part of a marriage contract in civil ceremonies. If a husband refuses to do his share, he could face penalties in a divorce settlement if the marriage fails."
July 13, 2005
worth killing and dying for
Today's front page news is about London's suicide bombers. Investigations have led to four men who have died with last Thursday's bombs .
The New York Times also has this article (free registration might be required) about the bomb set off by an 18 year old Palestinian suicide bomber in Israel.
Meanwhile, tension in Manila increases as a crowd of 30,000 gather in an attempt to pressure President Arroyo to resign. They've united to oust Arroyo, but not much else. Groups have gathered with different agendas, many of which might cause more chaos in the Philippines. Unfortunately, there does not seem to be a promising alternative.
Pictures of people taking issues into their hands. I'm sure there's a better way to see change.
The New York Times also has this article (free registration might be required) about the bomb set off by an 18 year old Palestinian suicide bomber in Israel.
Meanwhile, tension in Manila increases as a crowd of 30,000 gather in an attempt to pressure President Arroyo to resign. They've united to oust Arroyo, but not much else. Groups have gathered with different agendas, many of which might cause more chaos in the Philippines. Unfortunately, there does not seem to be a promising alternative.
Pictures of people taking issues into their hands. I'm sure there's a better way to see change.
July 11, 2005
Srebrenica
Today marks the 10th yr of the massacre in Srebrenica, another bitter example of the failure of international peacekeeping efforts. 610 bodies of the 8000 vicitims were exhumed, identified and buried today - 10 years later.
I hate to think that this blog is about the doom and gloom in the world but I do want to recognise quite a significant part in this growing international history and I want to echo Islamic leader Mustafa Ceric, "May grief become hope. May revenge become justice. May mothers' tears become prayers that Srebrenica never happens again."
Together with the recent bombings in London, I am ever more determined to go into the field of peace studies and conflict resolution. Except I can't guarantee that I will be supporting the right policies or that I will be making helpful decisions. I can only guarantee that I want to see this change. I want different outcomes, I want people's lives to be safe and I will study my damn hardest to make sure I know what I'm doing.
I hate to think that this blog is about the doom and gloom in the world but I do want to recognise quite a significant part in this growing international history and I want to echo Islamic leader Mustafa Ceric, "May grief become hope. May revenge become justice. May mothers' tears become prayers that Srebrenica never happens again."
Together with the recent bombings in London, I am ever more determined to go into the field of peace studies and conflict resolution. Except I can't guarantee that I will be supporting the right policies or that I will be making helpful decisions. I can only guarantee that I want to see this change. I want different outcomes, I want people's lives to be safe and I will study my damn hardest to make sure I know what I'm doing.
from my journal
I am still really sad about last Thursday's events in London. But I am also impressed at how the situation has been dealt with by the transport authorities and the police. Investigations are still taking place and I do hope that the families of the victims will find comfort and that the investigations move thoroughly and swiftly. Various news sites update the information fairly reguarly, so instead of giving you the details of what happened, I'll write about how I responded on Thursday.
From my journal on Thursday
I think today will be a day I will always remember. I'm finally shaking. I'm sitting in Luton airport waiting to check in for my flight to Budapest. It's packed right now with people stuck here waiting to be able to travel into London. London transport is shut down. Terrorism.
I got into work and heard the news. I'm shocked. I'm not afraid, rather I am shocked, appalled, disturbed, angered, sad but it's only here in this crowded airport that I'm starting to feel it.
It's not the 'it could have been me' thinking or the thought of my own mortality that is disturbing. I'm disturbed because we seem to be fair game. We seem to all be in this war - and not as soldiers, certainly not as generals. We are still civilians.
I'm disturbed because I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say to those hurting. I want to change it.
Lord give me the wisdom. Give the leaders the wisdom.
July 08, 2005
in budapest
I am now in an internet cafe in Budapest and am looking forward to a weekend with some friends here although my thoughts are still in London. I am more angry and disturbed than afraid but I will blog about some thoughts a little later.
Thanks for all your messages, emails and prayers.
Thanks for all your messages, emails and prayers.
July 07, 2005
Terrorism, Trains, Planes & TS Eliot
So I'll be boarding another plane in the next few hours - maybe. This time I'm off to Budapest for the weekend to visit Amanda and a few other people I met there last year. Rick and I went to Budapest while a friend of his, Jacob, was working with a church there last summer. We met a number of the youth and I'm heading back there this weekend to spend some time with them.
Except all public transportation in London is suspended. Bombs. Explosions. Blood. Smoke. Power failures. Blackened faces. Panic. Fear. Terrorists attacks? Sirens. Two deaths so far. I'm not sure what's happening. No one is sure. I'm at work but have not accomplished anything thus far. Meetings are cancelled. I look out the window and the streets are empty. Whispers around the office. London. Surreal.
'What is that sound high in the air
Murmur of maternal lamentation
Who are those hooded hordes swarming
Over endless plains, stumbling in cracked earth
Ringed by the flat horizon only
What is the city over the mountains
Cracks and reforms and bursts in the violet air
Falling towers
Jerusalem Athens Alexandria
Vienna London
Unreal'
TS Eliot
The Wasteland
'Such elation on one day, and panic the next.' - Bob Bharij, my colleague
Except all public transportation in London is suspended. Bombs. Explosions. Blood. Smoke. Power failures. Blackened faces. Panic. Fear. Terrorists attacks? Sirens. Two deaths so far. I'm not sure what's happening. No one is sure. I'm at work but have not accomplished anything thus far. Meetings are cancelled. I look out the window and the streets are empty. Whispers around the office. London. Surreal.
'What is that sound high in the air
Murmur of maternal lamentation
Who are those hooded hordes swarming
Over endless plains, stumbling in cracked earth
Ringed by the flat horizon only
What is the city over the mountains
Cracks and reforms and bursts in the violet air
Falling towers
Jerusalem Athens Alexandria
Vienna London
Unreal'
TS Eliot
The Wasteland
'Such elation on one day, and panic the next.' - Bob Bharij, my colleague
July 02, 2005
protest 4 newsletter
Check out Protest 4's first newsletter here.
Protest 4 is a call to anyone interested in looking at issues of social justice - a protest for a more just world. I've been a part of the London collective and it's been inspiring. Check out the website, register in the forum and be part of the dialogues.
Protest 4 is a call to anyone interested in looking at issues of social justice - a protest for a more just world. I've been a part of the London collective and it's been inspiring. Check out the website, register in the forum and be part of the dialogues.
live 8
Spent just about the entire afternoon and evening watching the live broadcast of Live8. I was planning to go to today's Make Poverty History gathering in Edinburgh but when my original transportation plan fell through a couple of days ago I decided I did not want to pursue my alternatives - a couple hundred pounds for a flight into Edinburgh, or a 9-10 hr bus ride. Nah, especially not after such an uncomfortable 11 hr plane ride back from Vancouver a few days ago. So instead I made personal history by watching the most tv I think I've ever done in my life this afternoon. If watching the live broadcast of the London concert on TV (with just over 200,000 people!) and the live webcast of the Philadelphia concert (around 1.5 million people!) counts as supporting the movement, then I've done my part I guess.
It was quite spectacular and I'm sure it would have been an unforgettable experience to be in either the concert in London or the gathering in Edinburgh, nonetheless, viewing it all on TV and seeing the global scope gave me hope that we can be a part of something that could change lives in Africa. So Paul Martin - do not disappoint us in Gleneagles.
It was quite spectacular and I'm sure it would have been an unforgettable experience to be in either the concert in London or the gathering in Edinburgh, nonetheless, viewing it all on TV and seeing the global scope gave me hope that we can be a part of something that could change lives in Africa. So Paul Martin - do not disappoint us in Gleneagles.
July 01, 2005
canada
I'm back from what seemed to be a long weekend of parties, bbqs and eating in Vancouver. I went home for just under two weeks as a surprise visit for my mom's __th birthday and my dad's __th birthday. I attended a wedding, a few birthdays and ate a lot of food! It was great to spend the time I had with my family. I had little time to spend with friends, many of whom were not aware that I was coming into town. When my siblings and I decided that I would go home as a surprise present to my mom, we decided that we wouldn't tell anybody for the sake of keeping the secret tight, so very few people were expecting me. Apologies for that! and for not being able to see a lot of my friends! I do look forward to August when I'll be spending more time in Vancouver.
July 1st was Canada day so to celebrate I went over to Canada house in Trafalgar Square here in London. There was cake, short shows, some live music and a lot of Canadians. Felt particularly patriotic. So happy Canada day everyone, although a day late now.
Vancouver is such a beautiful city. I am looking forward to living there again. My last five weeks in London then I'm off to Vancouver again for about a month.
July 1st was Canada day so to celebrate I went over to Canada house in Trafalgar Square here in London. There was cake, short shows, some live music and a lot of Canadians. Felt particularly patriotic. So happy Canada day everyone, although a day late now.
Vancouver is such a beautiful city. I am looking forward to living there again. My last five weeks in London then I'm off to Vancouver again for about a month.
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